I still enjoyed it

I should be writing a paper. As it stands this paper is never going to be written. I woke up at 8 a.m. because I stabbed myself in the belly button with my thumb. If you don’t know what that feels like do it now, I’ll wait. Good now your insides hurt and your pissed at me. I think you are in the proper mood to read my words.

I walk out of my room for water. This the first of many mistakes, in a mistake filled day. My roommate is still drunk from the party the night before. He is looking at his movies, but you can tell he hasn’t read a damn title. He needs sleep because he has not slept.

He proceeds to tell me perfect strangers think I’m gay because I was talking to their gay friend. I am being punished for leaving my room. I get some water and it’s brown and smells like dog piss. I get a juice bag and suck the bitch dry. The water seemed to activate some left over drugs and beer in my system.

I start jabbering to Steve about killing a hobo. He says he’s drunk.

So fucking what I’m jabbering about killing homeless people I’m retarded. I make the right choice and go back to bed.

When I am awake again I decide to shower and go check my mail. My tar guard arrived and I am pleased. I look in the building for those bibles the Church leaves around I need rolling papers. Of course when I need the good book it is not to be found. The walk back was trying it was bright yet cold as balls. I often thought I was going to need a rest. I always get two flavors of hell.

I try to read some of my work to start this paper I was just telling you about. Everything blurs together.

For those keeping score: Awful Day - 6
Eric - 0

I watch Star Trek and talk online to folks. There are times I fall sleep. Kevin calls and we talk about being scumbags. The girl he is currently fucking and extorting money from asked him this, “Do you believe half the shit that comes out of your mouth?” I think that is the best question ever posed. I don’t think they are no longer speaking.

We corrupt people, we did not know this, but looking at our few friends we know it to be true. They either got worse directly because of us, or fucked off because they had a brain in their head. We talk more about ourselves as a plague and less as people. We are more comfortable with that.

Maggie calls for Steve and I go wake him up, fucker couldn’t hear his phone. He also threw up in his bed, pizza rolls if you must know.

Steve wants to get food, as do I. I think about ordering a pizza then remember Steve’s bed. I’ll write better with food. It seems Larry the Cable Guy is at the arena. Fuck. So we half to drive all the way around campus. Then we finally get to McDonalds, a normally 5 minute trip, and there is a limo out front and an ass load of people in line. We decide to go to the other one. Traffic is bumper to bumper. I tried to kill people with my mind but it did not work.

What an awful day.

We finally arrive and get our food. In the parking lot Steve drops his bag and is minus fries. We start to eat and there is no ketchup. The food sucked by the way and was not worth the hour we spent trying to get it.

During all of this I could have sworn I was trying to write a paper. Then I return home and find I have friends, I return calls. I check away messages and my ex’s away message reads, “Going to see Larry the Cable Guy!” She could be dead right now, because I tried very hard to kill her with my mind. I’ll update if it worked. The paper is not being written today.

There is a lump at the bottom of my ear, I hope I’m growing venom sacs.